Cap Gun & Pin Knife

Maggie the cowgirl

Maggie wants to be a cowgirl, according to Bud. Maggie, is my parents yellow lab. The baby. The spoiled rotten one. The one who loves her “pitties” rubbed. That’s right, her arm pits.

Bud called me the other day while we were out at Publix shopping. He told me to buy  a cap gun and a pin knife while I was out at the store.


A WHAAAAT!? 

Maggie’s weapon

“You heard me. A cap gun and a pin knife. I promised them for Maggie,” Bud said. I told him I didn’t understand. He went on, “Shana, listen… Maggie loves watching westerns on t.v., so I promised her she could be a cowgirl too. She likes Jesse James, the real one… not the one on West Coast Choppers. And wants to be referred to as Billy, the Kid.” 

This was a real life conversation with Bud. The same guy who calls my phone, and leaves dozens of voice mails. 

I asked him recently, “Why do you leave so many messages?” 

He said, “Well, why do you always boycott my phone??” He had me there. I then proceeded to ask him why he never returns my texts… his text messages are pretty stellar, because he thinks he has to start them with an R. (for reply). 
 He told me, “I don’t return your texts because, it scares me when you “snipe” me.”

This only leads me to believe, the real reason he wants Maggie to have a cap gun is so she can finally gun down the “snipers” who are allegedly after him.