It’s okay to be abnormal

Luke’s first birthday is in just a few weeks. I can’t believe how quickly the year has gone. He started walking at Christmas, and it just made me reminisce on all of the milestones we’ve witnessed in this first year of his life.

Due to our current situation, we aren’t having a birthday party for Luke. Well, at least not the kind you see on Facebook and Pinterest. My husband is still living in Birmingham. He is coming to town, and we are getting Luke a cake.

Because we aren’t having a big celebration for our little man it really got me thinking about the last year. It’s funny to me now how much I stressed during my pregnancy with Luke. I worried we didn’t have everything perfect before his arrival. We worked so hard on a beautiful nursery that we are no longer able to enjoy. We were surprised with the gender (which no one does) and I felt unsure by that decision. Everyone looked at me like I was an alien and their response always was: “Oh, I could never do that.” 

I now realize the things I worried about wasn’t coming from me, it was coming from my insecurities that I wasn’t a “normal” mom. 

Luke and I now live in a small 2 bedroom apartment with my mom. She has been the BIGGEST help. Mom in one room, Luke and I in the other. The walls are plain white. The kitchen only has room for one person. His crib doesn’t match any of the furniture. There is no beautiful glider in the room to rock him. The closet is small with only the clothes he needs. There are no pictures of our little family on the walls. And, I’m okay with it. I know this is what my family has to do right now. 

I am pregnant again with our second child. I am due in June. I have a (soon to be) one year old, I’m working full time and my husband isn’t here. Someone said to me the other day, “I could never do what you’re doing.” Sure you could! You see, our norm these days is primarily based off what we see and hear…and not what we feel. What I wanted more than anything my first pregnancy was a healthy baby. Secondly, I wanted everything to be perfect for him when he entered the world. Clothes he grew out of, toys he’s grown out of, a nursery we grew out of. This time around, I just want us all to be together again. Giving our children an abundance of love is all we can give them right now…but isn’t that what they need most? 

Some insecurities are sneaking back around. This time it’s about not giving Luke the biggest most extravagant 1st birthday party. No theme. No guests. No big gifts. But then again, I feel if I was able to give him a huge birthday celebration I may look back on that and realize all he really needed was family, love, and a cake to dig into.  

I understand not everyone is like us. I am not saying one way is better than the other. The only reason I’m sharing these thoughts is so those who sometimes feel insecure know, it’s okay. Don’t let others sway your gut feeling of understanding what’s best for your family, even if it is abnormal. You know what your family needs and you know what you want, even if those wants are overboard. Just know if you can’t provide those wants you are probably more normal than you think. And if I fall into that category… I’m perfectly okay with that. 


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