Why my kid is crying

I was recently introduced to the #whymykidiscrying hashtag on Instagram. And I’m hooked. Don’t get me wrong, I hate to see Luke cry…it breaks my heart. But, the reasons why he cries 90% of the time…completely crack me up.

Here are some of my favorites:

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because dad tried to teach me how to pick a lock. #dontwannabeacriminal
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because there was a weird cupcake looking thing sitting in my chair.
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because mom embarrassed me by hauling me, sister, and our life belongings around on a baggage cart for 5 days.
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because I did not want to sit on a throne like my queenie sister.
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because mom put this hat on me. I don’t care if it’s cold, it ain’t my flow.
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because mom told me I might have The Ebola. She works in news, doesn’t she understand it’s not cool to scare the general public?? Oh, wait….
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because sister sat in my golf ball basket.
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because this dog wouldn’t let me color her back with chalk.
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because mom told me we’d be Cubs fans for life….aka, losers.
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because mom put this life vest on me. Said something about keeping me from drowning…pffft, I’m like Chuck Norris, I always float.
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because all of my horses lost at the track.
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because mom and dad made me sit on this step next to the one-legged marshmallow man WITHOUT my laser gun. Didn’t they know that Marshmallow thing coulda killed me?
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because mom thought it would be funny to include me in this weird viral trend involving a bucket of ice cold water. I would have just cut a check.
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because that dog was judging my driving skillz.
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because dad thought it was cute to put the ugly glasses he wears on my face.
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because mom is ALWAYS trying to jam up my style with “picture time”
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and again with this “picture time”
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and again….this time at the pumpkin patch.
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because they tried to give me these childish plastic tools for my belt. Humiliating, I tell you.
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because the lid wouldn’t come off the laundry detergent. I’m just trying to get things done around here.
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and, because…Santa.

 

 

 

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Shanisty is a former award winning journalist who left the news business to chase her rug rats for a living. She shares real, raw and personable stories focusing on the ups and downs of parenting. Sign up to never miss a post!

4 thoughts on “Why my kid is crying

  1. The look on Eden’s face in 99% of these pictures flat out cracka me up! Shes looking at Luke like, “Pull up you big boy Pull Ups and grow a pair, Bro”! Absolutely hilarious!!!

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