Dear Luke & Eden,
In a few days your lives are going to be flipped upside down. Not only are you going to have to share attention with your sibling, but now a third factor will be added to your equation.
You are both so little. You are both so innocent. Luke, your sweetness moves me to tears. Yesterday I wasn’t feeling well so I laid down upstairs in bed. You were outside playing with your sister at your Nanny and Grandpa’s house. I heard the kitchen sink running so I called down to you, “Everything okay?”
You responded: “Yes, mommy. Eden dropped her apple on the ground and I didn’t want her to eat something dirty, so I rinsed it off for her.” I laid back in bed and sobbed for your caring heart.
Eden, you are feisty. You are so tough. You are so beautiful. You ask me how I’m feeling daily. When I tell you I’m not feeling so well, you reply: “Well, that’s okay mommy. I’ll protect you from the lions, bears and the storm.” Last night, you told me you are going to take care of me and the baby because you’re big and strong and I believe you.
I am biased. I’m supposed to be…I’m your mom. But you two are the most caring children. Your hearts are so big it frightens me. I fear the real world will crush your souls at times, but I pray you always feel the love and support from me, your daddy and your siblings to breathe life back into your lungs…the way you breathe life into mine.
You two are 17 months apart, and it hasn’t always been easy. But I am so incredibly thankful for the age difference you have. You are so close. You don’t know life without each other. You sleep in the same room and when Eden gets scared, Luke you calm her fears and hold her hand.
Please know when your littlest sister or brother is born in a few days, I do not love you any less. In fact, I will love you even more. I need you both. I need you to continue to be helpful and care for one another. I need you to help me and help your new baby brother or sister. I need you to communicate with me when you are feeling sad, mad or jealous. You will feel all of these emotions, and it is perfectly normal.
I never had brothers or sisters, so I’m not entirely familiar with how siblings interact. But I can say this much, you make me so proud. I realize you are only 3 and 2 years old, but it’s important to me to put this into words now so you never forget how special you are.
Luke, you have been so concerned for me. You hold my hand when I walk up and down the stairs. You ask me every morning if I’m feeling okay. If the baby is okay. You make me a cup of coffee and ask to cuddle with me on the couch while your sister sleeps. You go easy on me with the constant requests to play sports because in your words, “Your belly is just too big.”
Eden, you tell me every day I’m pretty. You play with my hair. You whisper in my ear: “No, I love you more.” You hug me, kiss me, and ask me to dance daily. Your brother is your world. You look up to him so much, and he spoils you rotten. You often tell him, “I just can’t.” He’ll do whatever you want. You are so grateful and he loves to be the hero. You are so beautiful, Eden. Inside and out.
I am nervous to have this third baby, because it will massively shift our dynamic. But it will be fun to see how a third child’s personality will add to the chaos and expand our hearts. Please go easy on me. Have patience. Continue to be you. You are both such wise little children.
I want you to know I love you each individually with every ounce of my being. You are unique in your own way. I do not love you as a bundle, but as one. It’s important to me you know your worth, no matter what curveballs life brings our way. Continue to breathe life into me, because it’s what you do best. Nothing could, would or ever will change that.