I want to tell you all a little about my husband, against his will. Jeff and I met in 2009 at our friends’ wedding in my hometown of Columbus, Ohio. Jeff coached soccer in Montgomery, and I was a morning anchor at CBS42 in Birmingham. I don’t think either of us expected more out of the relationship, than friendship. We had several things working against us…the distance, he traveled all the time, and I was living my life as a zombie… in bed at 6 p.m. and up at 2 a.m. 

Soon after our first date, I moved to weekend anchor, and my hours became more manageable.  Jeff kept my interest, because he was unlike anyone I had ever dated before. Not to mention, he didn’t shave often, had crazy long hair, and wore these worn out cowboy boots.
We’ve never been a publicly affectionate couple. I don’t post a million status updates on Facebook about how awesome my husband is, and you won’t find kissing pictures… but that doesn’t mean he’s not beyond amazing. 
Jeff is everything I’m not, and that’s usually how marriages work. Sure, we have a ton in common, but there is also a lot to our relationship that’s very different. Our entire dating relationship was long distance, and so were the first six months of our marriage. Most would agree, we don’t really do things by conventional standards.
He has gone above and beyond the call of duty during these last three months. He dropped his career, and moved to Birmingham immediately following my accident. He has worked two jobs, kept the house clean, done laundry, cooked, cared for our dogs… without a single complaint. You can tell the difference between people who do things because they have to, and people who do things because they want to. Jeff is the later.
I’m telling you all of this because sappy love movies make me uncomfortable and are ridiculous examples of how relationships really are. Life isn’t a fairy tale, and love isn’t found in the enchanted woods.

But, happily ever after… to some extent, does exist! You just have to be patient. Don’t settle for Mr. or Mrs. 80%. Wait. Wait. Wait. I PROMISE YOU, the perfect person will come along.

Think about that special person in your life. Now, imagine you are in a serious car accident…one, many say, you should have died in. How would that person respond? 
I’m not saying Jeff is perfect, (and we all know I’m not), but he’s close enough to perfect, for me. 
Awwww…. hopefully, you’re not too nauseous, because I am a little. Here’s a bit of humor to end the clog of the day….
I received this picture via text from my mom this morning with no explanation….. I’m pretty sure this is Bud’s foot scrubber he went on and on about to me at the beach during our #kidnapping. 

“Do you think we should take a picture of me and you so you can clog it?” Bud asked me as we left Destin. “I’m afraid people reading this have me pinned for an Archie Bunker crossed with a James Dean. But, once they see the picture, they’ll know I’m more like James Dean.” So, this picture was taken as soon as we returned.

As I was delivered back to my house in Birmingham, I couldn’t help but laugh. It’s hard to let the beach go, even if I don’t have my #sealegs back yet. This little getaway was so good for me. It helped me get out of the comfort zone of my house, and forced me to use more strength in my legs. I only have two more weeks in the wheelchair, and I couldn’t be happier.

Here are some more highlights of the kidnapping….if you are a Twitter-er, you can follow me: @shanistymyers

Coffee Thief
  • @shanistymyers: Someone stole #bud’s flip flops he’s walking thru the hotel barefoot. “you can smell them from a mile, why the h*ll would someone want them?”
  • @shanistymyers: Bud: “I’m making my truck as handicap accessible as possible, so I stopped locking the doors.”
  • @shanistymyers: Bud on edamame: “I hate that stuff. The skin is terrible and it has weird looking hooks on the end.”
  • @shanistymyers: Bud on sushi: “Shana, you remember those little gnarly looking bastards I ate last time we did the raw stuff?”
  • @shanistymyers: Bud on breakfast: You can’t take that to the room! “watch me!”  **(see photo)
  • @shanistymyers: “it’s okay to eat raw oysters because April has an “r” in it. It has something to do with the moon and illuminations.” #bud
  • @shanistymyers: Bud to lady on t.v.: “I wouldn’t let my kid hang out with you, with your kinky hair and voodoo badges.”
  • @shanistymyers: Bud on weight loss: “I can’t wait until I can tell the difference between  the top of my t-shirt and the bottom.”
  • @shanistymyers: Bud on phone to Nance: “Listen, I only have 68% power left on my cell phone. I’m not going to waste it on you.”
  • @shanistymyers: Bud: “Lemme tell u something, your mother puts on a big piscade.” #facade 
  • @shanistymyers: “My mouth is dryer than a mouse pi**ing on cotton balls.” #bud
  • @shanistymyers: Bud on buying bottled water… “well, since you asked, I’m kind of boycotting water bottles with green lids.”
  • @shanistymyers: Bud as we pass Verbena: “I grew up with a big ol’ fat woman named Albeena Shereenie. She was related to Mono and LaLa.”
  • @shanistymyers: Bud calls his bro-in-law: “Did that Mickey Shereenie ever get married? He always had that snot running out of his nose.” #confirmation
  • @shanistymyers: Apparently this Mickey Shereenie was shot twice as he delivered papers in Wainwright, OH.
  • @shanistymyers: Bud: “And Joe McGonie shot Mickey with a bow and arrow. I never threatened to shot Mickey, but I did set off a firecracker when he delivered at Gma’s.”
  • @shanistymyers: Bud: “That mickey did get married, he had 3 children. I bet they’re ugly as sin. Hell, If they’re anything like their ol’ man, they’ve been shot too.”

Bud and I are already planning our next big adventure. This time, we’re thinking something a little more country, with our own flare of rock and roll. 

Stay tuned…

Nice anklet

“This is the easiest thing I’ve ever done in my life,” Bud said. He’s finally warming up to the idea of me clogging and tweeting about him during my kidnapping. 

We woke up Friday morning, and the saga continued…

  • @shanistymyers: Bud: “How did you sleep?” Me: “Eh, so, so.” Bud: “yeah I didn’t fall asleep until I sat up straight in the hotel chair.”  
  • @shanistymyers: Bud got $60 knocked off our hotel room bc of a ticking noise, he described as a time bomb. #buddontgivearip
  • @shanistymyers: Bud just handed it to some sales guy who called his cell asking if he wanted a free sample of herbal cream. #buddontgivearip  **(See video below)
  • @shanistymyers: Bud: “like my ankle monitor? I’m officially on house arrest away from your mother.” **(See photo)
  • @shanistymyers: Bud steals cushions from hotel lobby…Lady says he can’t. Bud: “What’s it to you lady, my daughter has a broken pelvis.”
  • @shanistymyers: Bud is finally cracking an egg… He said, “if you ask me to do one more thing, I’m gonna be on suicide watch.”
  • @shanistymyers: Bud on hygiene: “I bought this foot cleaner on t.v., you seen it? It has bristles, a foam brush, and sandpaper.”
  • @shanistymyers: Bud jumps in pool: “That pool is too d*mn cold, not even a whatcha call…man who was in Batman… would get in that.” #penguin
  • @shanistymyers: Bud on traffic: “my God, looks like they upset the circus bus.”
  • Chrome grabber: check
  • @shanistymyers: Bud thought someone stole his chrome grabber. It was found. “Let’s go tell the hotel staff to call off the search team.” **(See photo) 

Saturday Bud decided to ride his Harley to Panama City. I spent the day by the ocean. Bud was really concerned about leaving me… because I’m in a wheelchair, but more importantly, I would have nothing to clog…. oh, but I did. 

To Be Continued…

It started out as any normal Thursday. Bud came downstairs and said he had to deliver a car to some dude in Florala. He took note that Florala is only 30 miles to Destin, Florida. 

Keep on truckin

“Pack your bags,” he said. “I’m kidnapping you to the beach.” 

I decided to Tweet the entire kidnapping. This will help walk you through the amazing adventures of the day……
  •  @shanistymyers: I’m being kidnapped, and will be tweeting during. #kidnapped
  • @shanistymyers: Bud says, “I’m not bringing you back until you have a tan between your toes.” #kidnapped
  •  @shanistymyers: Bud: “since u are the co-pilot, u are in charge of the radio, my cell phone, and looking for Hooters restaurants along the way.” #kidnapped
  • @shanistymyers: Bud “whatever happened to music with words?” #kidnapped
  • @shanistymyers: Bud on business: “so, I told him if he didn’t pay me, I’d eat his arms and legs off.” #kidnapped
  • @shanistymyers: We may have a flat tire. #kidnapped
  • @shanistymyers: Tire blown. Inching along i65. #kidnapped
  • @shanistymyers: As Army tankers pass us…”well, how do ya like that? Our own military ’bout ran over us.” #bud
    Kenny the mechanic
    • @shanistymyers: Bud talking with Kenny the mechanic: “am I gettin’ thru to you, son?!” **(see photo) 
    • @shanistymyers: Instead of saying “winner” #bud is saying “wiener”… I think he’s mocking Kenny
    • @shanistymyers: Schwing…. on the road again!!! But not before bud thought I was kidnapped at McDonald’s. **I used the restroom and then just wheeled out to the truck… Bud decided to buy some mutant nuggets and McFlurries. Hence, how we were separated.**  
    • @shanistymyers: “This trip is eat what you want and shut up, otherwise I’m Gonna drop you off at a motel 6” #bud 
    • @shanistymyers: Instead of saying “hell to the yes”, Bud likes to say “H to the Hell. #bud
    Car delivery spot
    • @shanistymyers: Bud: “even tho I’m movin to Alabama, I am not getting one of those A stickers, or those d*mn ear flags ppl stick out their widows.”
    • @shanistymyers: Hey, remember when I told you this trip was eat what you want and shut up? Well, I shouldn’t have ate those mutant chicken nuggets. #bud
    • @shanistymyers: About to deliver this car to this dude in Florala. Or as Bud calls it, Finola. He is not a happy camper… It’s about to get real.
    Bud Wreaking Havoc
    • @shanistymyers: Of course this is where we would land to wait on the dude to pick up the car. #bud **(see photo)
    • @shanistymyers: Bud exchanging the harsh words with dude and wife. #awesome **(see photo)
    Bud is a happy man

    @shanistymyers: “33 DOLLARS! 33 DOLLARS!” bud yelled… Clearly, he spotted a Super 8… “we could stay there for a month, and they have a lounge and a KFC!” #bud

    • @shanistymyers: Someone is happy. #bud **(see photo) 

    So, it call came full circle in the end. My kidnapping was one for the books. Since we lost so much time with the tire situation, Bud says we might stay for an extra 3 days. 
    Or… we may never come back… To be continued…

    “What’s this I hear about you clogging me?” These were the first words out of Bud’s mouth upon arrival to Birmingham. 

    “Clogging you?” I asked. 

    “Yes, I’ve heard you’ve been clogging me… and I don’t like it.” ohhhhhh, blogging! Alas, word has gotten to Bud I’ve been blogging about him.  Of course he doesn’t like it. I had to tell him he’s the most interesting person I know and if he “freezes me out” (which is what he threatened to do) than my clog… I mean, blog…fails. 

    So, he consented. 

    no big deal

    Since Bud is in town, I am completely caught up on “The Deadliest Catch.” We also went to lunch yesterday with Natalie, where he insisted on moving the table 70 ft. in front of the neighboring Verizon Store. No joke, we were directly in front of the store’s entrance. Bud doesn’t give a rip. 

    Beverly Hillbillies

    Bud also doesn’t believe in breaking down my wheelchair so it fits conveniently in the truck. He prefers to strap it down in the back, Beverly Hillbillies style. Bud doesn’t give a rip. 

    Bud told me yesterday, “We need to break you outta this jail before your life is ruined.” So, today, he may… or may not be… kidnapping me…. stay tuned…