Our family is getting ready to welcome baby #4 to the circus and for the fourth time we will be completely surprised by the gender when he or she makes their grand entrance in September.
There are very mixed feelings (and some very strong opinions) about finding out the gender of the baby early. The majority of parents-to-be believe waiting until the birth is absolutely crazy. They simply cannot wait that long and enjoy finding out early with a 20-week anatomy scan. I’ve even discovered, the trend recently is to find out even early with blood work. Gender reveal parties are all the rage, and I have been to a few… they are so fun!!
When people ask what I’m having and I tell them we have no idea these are some of the most common comments I receive:
“Oh! I could never do that!”
“You’re so brave.”
“I absolutely HAVE to know the gender before the baby arrives!”
“I’m a planner.”
“I’m type A.”
“How do you get things ready for baby if you don’t know?”
I have heard it all over the last 6 years of my pregnancy journeys. Most people look at me like I have two heads when I tell them A) We don’t know the gender and B) We have never found out with any of our children.
Some people really surprise me and say, “That is so cool! I would love to do that with our first child or next child.”
If you’re one of those people, then this article is for you. My words will not resonate with anyone who is set on finding out the gender before the baby is born, and I am not saying I am better than you in any way at all! No matter how we find out if our blessings are boys or girls is totally up to the parents and I support you either way.
If you’re on the fence, or curious to learn all of the PROS about waiting to find out the gender… then this post is for you!
Here are my Top 5 Reasons Why It’s Worth the Wait:
- The baby doesn’t need much when they are born. Hands down this is my #1 reason. With my first child, I had two massive baby showers. They were both so magical and perfect in every way. Sure, there were things we had to have that a shower came in handy for like a crib, bassinet, car seat, stroller, breast pump, swaddles, bottles, etc. But the truth is, beyond those items… a baby doesn’t really need much! My husband laughed at me so hard when I registered for a wipe warmer.
I remember a nurse telling me during my first pregnancy not to stress about all of the stuff! She said all a baby needs is to be warm and clean, be fed often and have a safe place to sleep. PERIOD. Trust me on this, after 4 children, she was 100% right. Plus, it was SO MUCH FUN shopping for my second child (a girl) after she was born because I didn’t own an ounce of pink. I remember going to Buy Buy Baby and buying all the pink outfits specifically for her. Such a great memory.
- Yellow and Green are better than Pink and Blue: As I mentioned above, I had two massive baby showers with my first pregnancy and all of the items on my registry were gender neutral. We now have two boys and a girl and I’ve been able to reuse all of those items with all of the children. I have a green car seat, a teal Bumbo, a teal Boppy, yellow newborn sleepers, a white crib, grey diaper bag…. etc. It’s been so convenient to not have to rush out and buy an entirely new set of items after another child is born. Try to think beyond your current pregnancy, if you have any inclination of having more children, I highly recommend asking for as many gender neutral items as possible.
- The guessing game is so much fun: It’s not that I don’t want to know the gender of my child, it’s that I’m choosing to wait. I think about him / her every single day. Will this little baby be a boy or a girl? My mama gut says #4 is a girl because I am noticing similarities to my 2nd pregnancy. But if there is one thing I’ve learned after 4 children, every single pregnancy is different! It’s fun to take a tally on what people think the gender is. It’s entertaining to listen to people try to guess with old wives tales.
I once had someone tell me it’s a surprise at 20 weeks too, and that person was correct, but there is just something so special about waiting it out all the way before announcing boy or girl to the world.
- Labor and Delivery: is a biotch. I’m not gonna sugarcoat it. Labor and delivery for me has never been an enjoyable process. My first was induced and they had to use forceps to get him out after 12 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing. My daughter came out too fast for an epidural, which was terrifying. My third child, another boy, was probably my smoothest labor and delivery, BUT he was almost 10 lbs. OUCH. Who knows how baby #4 will come into the world, but one thing I know for sure…. there is an amazing present with an even better surprise at the end of the long wait.
Not knowing the gender has helped me push through labor a little easier because I have this huge surprise waiting for me. Sure, some will argue meeting the baby is a surprise in itself, and it is… but imagine for a moment waiting 9 months to know if it’s a boy or girl on top of everything else!
- That moment: That moment when you hear “it’s a boy or it’s a girl” … let me just tell you, those are some of my most treasured moments in the entire world. There is nothing else like it. I encourage you to ask your doctor and nurses not to make the announcement and let your significant other do the announcing for you. It’s amazing. I remember my daughter the most, mainly because I was expecting another boy. I was shocked, relieved, and so incredibly happy after a terrifying labor without drugs. The moment when the baby is out and crying and you’re crying and your partner leans over and says: “it’s a boy. or it’s a girl.” Let me just tell you from experience, there is nothing else like it in the entire world.
Do you wait to find out the gender? I heard a recent statistic that there are only 10% of us! Comment below and let me know!
Stephanie SentelleApril 6, 2020 at 1:26 pm
We waited with baby #4 to find out the gender and it was so amazing!!! I always thought I was that person that NEEDED to know early. Turns out, I’m not. The surprise was so fun and made the labor and delivery that much more exciting! 10/10 recommend waiting!
Amy McDonaldJuly 19, 2020 at 1:13 am
We waited on all 3 of our babies to find out gender until delivery! I absolutely loved it. Agree with the author for all the same reasons: practical, exciting for parents & family to find out the day of the birth, your spouse getting to tell you, and I will add your spouse getting to announce to family in the waiting room. Love!!
AlexAugust 9, 2020 at 1:21 pm
We waited with our first and will with all our other children. We got to tell our parents together when they came back to the room. I let them have one final guess and then introduced them by her name. It was fun to see their reaction.
JessDecember 14, 2020 at 3:46 pm
We are a team green all the way here! We are expecting #4 next summer and have never found out before the birth. I have had more people look at me like I have 6 heads than I have tell me that they enjoy the surprise too. Not finding out has really morphed into the abnormal and weird. It’s way more fun!
ShanistyDecember 17, 2020 at 6:53 am
I completely agree! We are done having children…but if there was ever a surprise 5th, we’d do it the exact same way 🙂
AmandaDecember 21, 2020 at 6:58 am
We are expecting our 2nd in July 2021 and it took 8 years of trying. I’m only 10 weeks as of today and I had already decided long before now that I didnt want to know the gender until birth. It took me 8 years of hearing doctors say “its just unexplained infertility so just wait” for me to tell everyone else “it’s just 7 months so just wait” and honestly I love my decision bc we are going to love the baby regardless.
ShanistyJanuary 3, 2021 at 8:01 pm
Yay!!! Super excited for you all. Congrats, team Green all the way!
AshleyJanuary 25, 2021 at 10:50 pm
Due with #4 in April and haven’t found out with any of them! 1000% worth it every time! Our first way a boy, and I remember when he was born and we heard “it’s a boy” my husband, still holding my hand, literally jumped and yelled “yes”! Something we will never forget! I try and convince everyone I know having a baby to wait!
ShanistyFebruary 1, 2021 at 12:59 pm
Congrats on #4! 4 is so fun. I try to convince everyone I know to hold out on finding out the gender as well. It never really works, but we have loved it!
Kit HutchinsMarch 3, 2021 at 7:47 am
I wanted to find out with my first (anxiety, planner, just need to know things) but he wouldn’t show himself up even to the sonographer so we had to wait and I’m glad we did. It was very exciting to share with people.
I’m currently 25+4 with twins and have no desire to find out what we’re having, they’re DC/DA (ie. almost certainly fraternal) so it could be any combination. I’ve personally only had positive comments on not finding out, everyone here seems to think it’s a great surprise.
ShanistyMarch 4, 2021 at 6:19 am
That’s so awesome! Congratulations 🙂
AmberFebruary 17, 2021 at 9:09 pm
We waited to find out with baby #1, and it was amazing. Baby #2 the tech ruined it during our ultrasound by saying “and here is the scrotum” I have never been so disappointed in my life, and I mean the birth of my baby boy was still amazing, I just really wish it would have been a surprise, it just adds that little something extra special.
ShanistyFebruary 19, 2021 at 7:11 am
It’s so fun to be surprised!
AlysiaFebruary 28, 2021 at 7:44 am
We are expecting #2 in August and hubby really wants to find out at our ultrasound in April. He says he “needs to prepare”. We found out early with our son via dr. Writing the gender on a piece of paper and we opened it together over dinner, that moment was very special to us. I really don’t know how to convince him that waiting will be just as or more special.
KrissyMarch 6, 2021 at 12:58 am
I’m expecting my first EDD 9/3, I’m hoping for a boy and my partner is wanting a girl. My mom, partner’s mom and a few friends I’ve shared the news with thinks it’s a boy. Going for the anatomy scan in about a month, I had all these scenarios running through my head about the US tech slippin’ during the scan and reveal the gender or OB mentioning it somehow. Then I thought about baby shower and how ppl would want to know the gender so they know what to get what not. But I’m so glad I’ve stumbled upon your website, brought me tears of joy just reading all these exciting things and just that special feeling when the baby comes out so I’ve decided I am going to wait until delivery and make that request from the medical team to tell my partner first so he can announce it. 🥰 thank you!
ShanistyMarch 7, 2021 at 5:42 pm
YAYAYA!!! This makes my heart happy! I am so excited you’ve decided to wait…. trust me, it is so worth it 🙂 Thank you for sharing and congratulations!
NicoleMarch 7, 2021 at 10:44 pm
I waited with my 1st (boy), waited but also lost my 2nd (girl), wanted to wait with my third because paranoia as to not knowing why I lost my 2nd as well as never wanting a moment of disappointment of gender but when you get monthly ultrasounds it’s hard for techs not to ruin it. Broke my heart when I told my husband we were expecting a boy and his first response was “dang it”. Just hit the halfway point on baby 4 and refused to get as many ultrasounds this time because I DO NOT want the surprise taken from me. So excited to meet this baby at birth and celebrate them on that day.
ShanistyMarch 8, 2021 at 6:32 am
I love your story. Good luck on baby 4. We love having 4 kids!! 🙂
CamiMarch 11, 2021 at 10:33 am
I am so happy I found this on Pinterest. I have convinced my boyfriend to wait and have our family on board with it. Our friends are a completely different story with all their guessing, pressure, and push for a gender reveal party. I love knowing someone waited not just for the first like us, but all 4. I want neutral especially in case we go for a second one later. We are looking forward to knowing in August.
ShanistyApril 1, 2021 at 1:15 pm
Yay!!! I’m so happy to see you stumbled upon my post. Waiting is the best 🙂
ChristineApril 2, 2021 at 10:03 pm
Waited for our first three, baby 4 is coming in the fall and we will wait again! Doctor forgot we didn’t know on baby 1 and we had to ask to find out it was a boy! Oh the suspense! Baby 2 was a girl and boy was I surprised and overjoyed to meet her, I couldn’t get that 9.5lb bundle into my arms fast enough. Baby 3 I got to find out for myself when I lifted him up, it was magical. Curious to see what baby 4 will be, we would love another little lady to finish our family, but we won’t know until the big day! *bonus points, it drives our family crazy.
Danielle JohnsonJuly 20, 2021 at 9:23 am
We are waiting! Didn’t wait with our first but we are with the second! I’m so exited! Thanks for the tips, I never thought about my partner announcing the gender but that is such a great idea! Makes it even more special ❤️
P.SheaMay 22, 2022 at 3:16 pm
I have two children. The youngest is 24 and currently pregnant! We didn’t find out with our two (a boy and then a girl) and I was beyond excited to learn that my daughter and her husband weren’t going to find out. I will say that it seems as though there are fewer gender neutral options then when I had babies. Everything seems to be grey or white—including many of the clothes. But the surprise when finally meeting “Peanut” in August will be so special!
ToniNovember 23, 2022 at 9:02 pm
I’m waiting (: this will be my second baby and I really wish I would’ve waited on the first. I’m having another water birth so I 100% understand on it helping with labor and delivery at the end!
Crystal JohnsonNovember 27, 2022 at 9:03 am
So I’m that planner mom who had to have EVRRYTHING planned! We found out super early with our other babies. We are now pregnant with baby #5 and are going to wait to find out the gender. We currently have 2 boys and 2 girls so this is like a tie breaker! It’s been so much fun!
AshleyDecember 1, 2022 at 8:27 pm
Thanks for your blog! All my life I wanted to be that mom who waited until birth but in 2011, my husband was so anxious to know that I gave it. It’s now 2022 and we just found out we are expecting in June. I’m 39 so this is most definitely my opportunity to have that surprise announcement. I am not allowing anyone to find out the gender and I like your idea of my husband making the announcement at birth! I think you are carrying a girl!!
Amanda PJanuary 6, 2023 at 8:49 am
We had three girls and then a boy. When we found out about baby #5, which was a complete surprise, we decided that since we have at least one of each gender that we would wait. We did let the nurse and doctor tell us when she was born. I’ve kept pretty much everything from each baby, so we were already set with clothes, toys, baby items, etc. If we decide to have another, we will be waiting until birth again. It was definitely worth the wait.