Our family is getting ready to welcome baby #4 to the circus and for the fourth time we will be completely surprised by the gender when he or she makes their grand entrance in September.
There are very mixed feelings (and some very strong opinions) about finding out the gender of the baby early. The majority of parents-to-be believe waiting until the birth is absolutely crazy. They simply cannot wait that long and enjoy finding out early with a 20-week anatomy scan. I’ve even discovered, the trend recently is to find out even early with blood work. Gender reveal parties are all the rage, and I have been to a few… they are so fun!!
When people ask what I’m having and I tell them we have no idea these are some of the most common comments I receive:
“Oh! I could never do that!”
“You’re so brave.”
“I absolutely HAVE to know the gender before the baby arrives!”
“I’m a planner.”
“I’m type A.”
“How do you get things ready for baby if you don’t know?”
I have heard it all over the last 6 years of my pregnancy journeys. Most people look at me like I have two heads when I tell them A) We don’t know the gender and B) We have never found out with any of our children.
Some people really surprise me and say, “That is so cool! I would love to do that with our first child or next child.”
If you’re one of those people, then this article is for you. My words will not resonate with anyone who is set on finding out the gender before the baby is born, and I am not saying I am better than you in any way at all! No matter how we find out if our blessings are boys or girls is totally up to the parents and I support you either way.
If you’re on the fence, or curious to learn all of the PROS about waiting to find out the gender… then this post is for you!
Here are my Top 5 Reasons Why It’s Worth the Wait:
- The baby doesn’t need much when they are born. Hands down this is my #1 reason. With my first child, I had two massive baby showers. They were both so magical and perfect in every way. Sure, there were things we had to have that a shower came in handy for like a crib, bassinet, car seat, stroller, breast pump, swaddles, bottles, etc. But the truth is, beyond those items… a baby doesn’t really need much! My husband laughed at me so hard when I registered for a wipe warmer.
I remember a nurse telling me during my first pregnancy not to stress about all of the stuff! She said all a baby needs is to be warm and clean, be fed often and have a safe place to sleep. PERIOD. Trust me on this, after 4 children, she was 100% right. Plus, it was SO MUCH FUN shopping for my second child (a girl) after she was born because I didn’t own an ounce of pink. I remember going to Buy Buy Baby and buying all the pink outfits specifically for her. Such a great memory.
- Yellow and Green are better than Pink and Blue: As I mentioned above, I had two massive baby showers with my first pregnancy and all of the items on my registry were gender neutral. We now have two boys and a girl and I’ve been able to reuse all of those items with all of the children. I have a green car seat, a teal Bumbo, a teal Boppy, yellow newborn sleepers, a white crib, grey diaper bag…. etc. It’s been so convenient to not have to rush out and buy an entirely new set of items after another child is born. Try to think beyond your current pregnancy, if you have any inclination of having more children, I highly recommend asking for as many gender neutral items as possible.
- The guessing game is so much fun: It’s not that I don’t want to know the gender of my child, it’s that I’m choosing to wait. I think about him / her every single day. Will this little baby be a boy or a girl? My mama gut says #4 is a girl because I am noticing similarities to my 2nd pregnancy. But if there is one thing I’ve learned after 4 children, every single pregnancy is different! It’s fun to take a tally on what people think the gender is. It’s entertaining to listen to people try to guess with old wives tales.
I once had someone tell me it’s a surprise at 20 weeks too, and that person was correct, but there is just something so special about waiting it out all the way before announcing boy or girl to the world.
- Labor and Delivery: is a biotch. I’m not gonna sugarcoat it. Labor and delivery for me has never been an enjoyable process. My first was induced and they had to use forceps to get him out after 12 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing. My daughter came out too fast for an epidural, which was terrifying. My third child, another boy, was probably my smoothest labor and delivery, BUT he was almost 10 lbs. OUCH. Who knows how baby #4 will come into the world, but one thing I know for sure…. there is an amazing present with an even better surprise at the end of the long wait.
Not knowing the gender has helped me push through labor a little easier because I have this huge surprise waiting for me. Sure, some will argue meeting the baby is a surprise in itself, and it is… but imagine for a moment waiting 9 months to know if it’s a boy or girl on top of everything else!
- That moment: That moment when you hear “it’s a boy or it’s a girl” … let me just tell you, those are some of my most treasured moments in the entire world. There is nothing else like it. I encourage you to ask your doctor and nurses not to make the announcement and let your significant other do the announcing for you. It’s amazing. I remember my daughter the most, mainly because I was expecting another boy. I was shocked, relieved, and so incredibly happy after a terrifying labor without drugs. The moment when the baby is out and crying and you’re crying and your partner leans over and says: “it’s a boy. or it’s a girl.” Let me just tell you from experience, there is nothing else like it in the entire world.
Do you wait to find out the gender? I heard a recent statistic that there are only 10% of us! Comment below and let me know!